HEAVEN

So, I was thinking about Heaven. How do I get there when I die? I always thought that if you do onto others as you'd have done to you, was the first step. Perhaps generosity, kindness and compassion (to all living beings) are other steps?

Wait there's more. The Ten Commandments... we've heard about them, Thou shalt not kill, steal and commit adultery, Honor thy father and mother (my personal fav), take the Lord's name in vain (sorry I was driving in traffic!), etc... It probably doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure these out! Another Commandment states "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Hmmm, what a pisser... now I cannot believe in the Buddha, Abraham, Confucius, Allah (God forbid!)... Or any of the other gazillion entities in this world? What to do. I really want to go to heaven when I die because I heard that Hell is bad bad bad.

Wait, I remember how to get to Heaven when I die. I need to be Saved! I was told this when I went to church with with my aunt five years ago on Easter Sunday. All or nothing, "they" said. Jesus' way or the highway. Cool, I think I will do it this Sunday. I can renounce Satan and evil with blessed water. Sweet. Does this mean I can now practice unethical procedures in business; not practice what I preach; condemn abortion... then later that day discuss blowing up the Middle East and support the death penalty; put down vegetarians because the Bible claims that animals are for man to eat (even though theoretically plants were the choice before "dominion" on animals); have sex with a hooker; covet my neighbor; be a racist, and still make it to heaven? Yes! Because I will be Saved by the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit!

Uh oh. Does this mean I have to become a hypocrite? Does this mean I cannot be friends with Homosexuals... and do I have to vote Republican? Basically, what I'm asking... If I want to go to heaven when I die, do I have to act like an asshole to get there? Screw it... I'm going to the beach on Sunday! However, I will make sure I give some change or whatever I can spare to a starving, or perhaps drug addicted homeless person.

Do you realize... that everyone you know... someday... will die.

Note: I don't mean to offend anyone. I know there are some good non-judgemental Christians out there.

"Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion."

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama