April 22, 1997

I lie awake in my bed,

thinking... what I left unsaid.

My eyes are swollen shut,

and my heart empty inside.

Please help me out of this rut,

or at least find me a place to hide.

God, all I wanted was love;

someone to love me back.

Show me an eagle or a dove,

and help me through this attack.

Well at least I know I can cry,

for my face is sopping with tears.

All this time I was always dry,

because I held in most of my fears.

I don't want to feel so alone,

as I always have before.

I just want a place of my own,

with "him" at the front door.

Not here though, for he is gone.

And I am left here, only to long.

Please give me strength...

And help me move on.

For Neil

R.I.P.

1998