Apropos.

In Memory

(Written by Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS)

I find an old photograph and see your smile. As I feel your presence anew, I am filled with warmth and my heart remembers love. I read an old card sent many years ago during a time of turmoil and confusion. The soothing words written then still caress my spirit and bring me peace. I remember who you used to be the laughter we shared and wonder what you have become. Where are you now, Where did you go, When the body is left behind and the spirit is released to fly? Perhaps you are the morning bird singing joyfully at sunrise, or the butterfly that dances so carelessly on the breeze or the rainbow of colors that brightens a stormy sky or the fingers of afternoon mist delicately reaching over the mountains or the final few rays of the setting sun lighting up the skies edging the clouds with a magical glow. I miss your being but I feel your presence, In whatever form you choose to take, however you now choose to be. Your spirit has become for me a guardian angel on high guiding, advising, and watching over me. I remember you. You are with me and I am not afraid. *Except for the not afraid part.

Happy V-Day Suckas!

One cool dude.

Life without Dad...

= SAD. It's been 15 days now, but it seems like yesterday. I still haven't been able to go home and sleep in my own bed. I'm with my sisters in Dad's home. We are each other's support, thankfully. Memories flow through me every minute... all of them good. I find myself thinking, "Oh, I need to tell Dad" when something off the wall happens, which is often in my world... but I can't. We had Nam flashbacks together. We rocked the nugget to Kris Kristofferson and Hoyt Axton... and Creedence, et al. I think about how sick he was, and how he fought with all his might to stay with us as long as he could. And I know... he's not suffering anymore. I know this. No need to tell me he's in a "better place"... but I appreciate the notion??? Life is surreal right now, to say the least. One day at a time. I cherish everything he left behind. I cherish his memory. I cherish his legacy... he was quite loved by many, you know. He was the missing link to my personality. I feel real bad for the "people" who didn't get a chance to hang out with him. YOUR loss.

Dad always had my back. ALWAYS. Sometimes we disagreed. Sometimes we would bicker. But we ALWAYS told each other, "I Love You" when saying goodbye... in person and on the phone. E-mail, texts, etc. EVERY time. For 40 years. I still can't believe he's not coming back... My heart has NEVER felt this much pain. NEVER. Oh, and it's been through a lot. I'm thankful I have TRUE friends at this time. This is me bearing public displays of emotion... you got me.

The end.


"TRUE friends" are just that... not pretend friends.

"People" You know who you are.

My beloved Dad.